"Mae West, 11. Best Creative Valentines Day Gifts In 2023, 100+ Clever Christmas Captions for Photos, 120+ I Love You Quotes: Famous Love Quotes For All, 80 Heartfelt Happy Anniversary Messages With Images, 60 Happy Anniversary Quotes To Celebrate Your Love, Wedding Wishes: What To Write In A Wedding Card, Romantic I Love You Messages For Him And Her, I know Im a handful but thats why you got two hands. Unknown, Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. Truman Capote, If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. Betty Reese, Taking naps sounds so childish. It was either exciting or not. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." He smiled at her with sharp teeth, not at all bothered by her voices poltergeist act. "Cheerleading . O'Rourke, 88. Any woman who diets all the time can't help but be grouchy. Advice that you shouldnt reject. Ouiser Boudreaux, Steel Magnolias, 24. Are you ready? Funny Stuff. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Can I interest you in asarcastic comment? Chandler (Matthew Perry), My ability to turn good news intoanxietyis rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chinacne. Tina Fey, So it turns out that being an adult is really just Googling how to do stuff. Unknown, Its okay to look at the past and the future. when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. If you look back on all the teachers that you liked, I am sure you will find they were very entertaining. Budd Schulberg. "I love mankind it's people I can't stand!! Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, 46. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "I have a lot of growing up to do. That way you can fall asleep at night. Jason Love, 56. One of the oldest funny sayings. Shutterfly, Inc. All rights reserved. Really Funny Joke. Not because the products are better, but because the ads are produced to be entertaining. You can either be right, or you can be happy." "Will Ferrell, 51. Maybe you have a smart friend whod appreciate this saying. - from The Notebook. "Do not take life too seriously. John Waters, The goal has been not to get pigeonholed. Plant smiles, grow laughter, harvest love. "Charles Lamb, 96. A father. No, I don't want you to leave. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure. Unknown, 38. Read on! "Zach Galifianakis, 20. And you will most likely fall. The artist now has a very important job to do. "I'm sorry; I have to go." Theres another similar one attributed to Benjamin Franklin, All cats are grey in the dark. Lot of fun. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. Now I realize I should have been more specific. I like working in different genres. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Youre not as young as you used to be. George Burns, 48. Modest, funny, curious, and wide open to the world, he gives us perceptive glimpses of Chinese culture, ancient to contemporary, and into what it means to be a poet, both now and twelve centuries ago. You never know what you're gonna get. Will Rogers, 101. - George Carlin. | Contact Us He's practically growling at any man who talks to you, even the married ones. 7. 1. If you let your head get too big, itll break your neck. Elvis Presley, 43. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." Joan Rivers. The elevator to success is out of order. I can remember earning 5,000 a game playing for Hibs at the end of the Seventies. TOM HANKS IN FORREST GUMP. I took my keys out. Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Cool Party Quotes and Sayings. 8. Mood Quotes. Download and use 6,000+ Funny stock photos for free. "Women marry men hoping they will change. Happy birthday! Unknown, On your birthday, I thought of giving you the cutest gift in the world. I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' It was either funny or not. We hope you had a good time reading them. That's all I've ever wanted. As school comes to an end and its time for summer, funny yearbook quotes are a great way to let loose and poke fun at your memories. Articles and opinions on happiness, fear and other aspects of human psychology. 2012 2023 . she asked, crinkling her face in confusion. Upload Join. Enjoy reading and share 40 famous quotes about Funny Entertaining with everyone. It's very easy to confuse Sean Connery with James Bond. You can learn a lot of things from the flowers. Load More Replies. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. YA does a fantastic job of being socially aware and, at the same time, entertaining. Well, don't feel badly, I didn't either! "Everything I have I owe to this job this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job. 18. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun. 05. "I don't care what they say about me. 23/02/2023. "I always wondered what it would be like to see you try." It's only the bad guys and the troublemakers who create entertaining and history-changing events. when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. #21"You can bury any number of headaches in a garden.". "Joan Rivers, 44. What is Hulk Hogan's net worth? Even the way he stood held a sense of amusement. Funny Quotes in Hindi on Life. Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, 34. interesting definitions; SCHOOL;a place where papa pays n son plays LIFE INSURENCE;contract dat keeps u poor all ur life so dat u can die rich DOCTOR;a person who kills ur ills by pills n kills u by bills MARRIAGE;it is an agreement in which a man loses his bachlor degree n a woman gains her masters DIVORCE;future tense of marriage SMILE;a curve dat can set a lot of things straight ATOMBOMB;an . Pin by ari<3 on ~felt~ [Video] in 2022 | Clever captions for instagram, Memes quotes, Mad quotes. 2. "Sandra Bullock, 74. "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see . Like. "Garry Shandling, 36. Stephenie Meyer, Twilight. They don't replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment of a professional. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldnt give it up because by then I was too famous. Robert Benchley, 20. It allows fans to not only see what I do on the field, but also to get to know my personality a bit more. Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. "Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. That's why I've turned down offers to host the Grammy Awards and the American Music Awards. Oprah Winfrey, 27. You can follow on Instagram and Pinterest. I'm a real artist, right from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head. Chew the fat / Shoot the s**t. These two expressions might be the grossest and funniest on this list. "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." Donald Trump. "Jim Carrey, 59. Anonymous. An office is a place where dreams come true." Live each day like its your second to the last. Along with another seven billion people, yes, youre unique. 4. Anonymous. Did you find some humor and a bit of inspiration in this collection of funny quotes about life? 33. A weather forecast thats 100 percent accurate for once. 3. 3. I don't really plan what comes out of my mouth, and that's what makes most of my lyrics entertaining. And there was no segregation, that I could see. Write them down on your mobile if you want to memorize them or share them with your friends: At least its one more reason not to drink and drive, dont you agree? "There is no such thing as fun for the whole family." They smile and call you something even more offensive. Unknown. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford, A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin, I love you with all my belly. Fields, 12. Joseph Bologna, I'm not a comedian. Napoleon Hill. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Robert Bloch, 17. Be sure to check out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life as well. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses. Unknown, I walk around like everythings fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Unknown, If were not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? Unknown, The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln. Phyllis Diller, 82. I think they are, as Shakespeare put it, a good deed in a naughty world. Famous funny guy Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted," and we couldn't agree more. "Well-behaved women seldom make history." Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. William Monahan, Seeking the Cave is part travelogue, part literary history, and part spiritual journey. Terry Zwigoff, Pleased to meet you." This is a collection of the funniest quotes from numerous sources and arranged by themes. We bet this has happened to you, dont pretend it hasnt! "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. "Cindy Crawford, 40. No use being a damn fool about it."W.C. "Lily Tomlin, 19. Ernest Hemingway, 29. He started laughing again. The Legendary Caviar . "If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock." Claude McDonald. - Ann Landers. "Mindy Kaling, 2. Scroll down, click and save your favorites, and copy and paste them into personalized gifts to share with all your loved ones. Maybe we can go out for a beer and shoot the s**t. 34. You cant possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. Sam Levenson, 49. Bench Press (2016) "Drake vs. A book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. "When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. It's the transition that's troublesome. Introduction Alesandra is a digital travel and lifestyle journalist based in Los Angeles whose work has appeared in Good Housekeeping, Womans Day, Prevention, Insider, Glamour, Shondaland, AFAR, Parents, TODAY and countless other online and print outlets. The following funny best friend quotes are as clever as they are true to your bond. I really wanted to be a musician, but I never could quite pull that off.